Being Alone Without Being Lonely . . .

February 22, 2010

As a pilot wife, many days are spent apart from the man I love. In the beginning of our relationship, the hardest thing for me to accept wasn’t the crazy schedule or the temptation or trust issues or the instability of the airline industry . . . it was being alone.

When I first met my husband, I was a successful career woman. I enjoyed working outside of the home. I worked out at the gym three times a week. I kept my schedule busy with after work activities with friends and co-workers. As some would say, “Life was good”. ***Enter extremely handsome commercial airline pilot*** And my world . . . well, it just got all complicated. You see, the more time I spent around him, the more time I wanted with him. I think that naturally happens in any relationship whether you’re dating a pilot or not. However, here is the challenge with dating a pilot. He’s home for one or two days and then gone for four, five or even six days. And then he might be home a few more days. But only to leave again for days or even weeks. And guess what . . . just when you think you’ve adjusted to that schedule, the new month rolls over and the schedule changes. To say having a relationship with him was challenging is a huge understatement. It’s hard to get accustomed to having someone there all of the time, only to have them up and leave for days or even weeks at a time. But after a year of dating, I married that man — unpredictable schedule and all. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. However, don’t think that just because we became husband and wife, all our issues were resolved. The nights are lonely and most times it’s “dinner for one”. Throw a few children into the mix and you’re a single parent most of the time.

So, how do you keep from being lonely when you’re alone so much? Well, here are just a few of the ways I keep myself busy while the pilot is away:

1) The gym is your friend - Not only will you keep yourself fit, but you’ll keep your mind and emotions healthy too! Exercise is great for the mind and body.

2) Read, read & read - Take advantage of the time alone to get into a good book and spend countless hours reading it. Many towns also have book clubs. It’s a great way to make new friends and read a good book at the same time.

3) Get plugged in at church - Many churches have tons of activities going on throughout the week. Connect with a group in your church, make friends and participate in activities.

4) Shop til you drop - now, I know my husband will not want this to be on the list, but take some time to shop - even if it’s just window shopping. Most men don’t want to accompany their wives to shop so take advantage of this alone time to get yourself a new wardrobe.

5) Train for a 5K - Running can be therpeutic. Take some time to release some of the work week’s stress by running out your frustrations.

6) Volunteer - this is one of my favorites. Remember, it’s not all about you! Take some time to volunteer at the local Salvation Army or any local charity. You’ll keep yourself busy and you’ll feel better helping someone else in need.

7) Find a hobby - For me, blogging became a way for me to connect with other people when the pilot was away. And for him, he was able to read what was going on at home while he was working. It was a win/win solution for the both of us!

And . . . for my final way to keep from being lonely while the pilot is away . . .

Children- Ok, so I didn’t have children to end my loneliness. However, it totally worked! As a mother of three children under the age of five, I can say that I’m too tired to ever feel lonely!! *Be sure to consult your pilot before using this method as a cure for loneliness*