Hang In There!

When I first became aware of pilot wives, as a group of women, I knew I technically belonged, but I wasn’t sure if I was fully considered a “pilot’s wife” in the same sense as most of the other women here. After all, my husband went to work every morning at the local airport, flew around on little prop planes, and came home again at the end of the day. He wasn’t a captain or a first officer; he didn’t fly for a regional or a major; there were never any long commutes or trips away from home for days. He was a corporate pilot for a small company, flying around South Texas. Or he was a charter pilot flying tourists to the beaches in Costa Rica. Or he was a Chief Flight Instructor flying circuits around a tiny airport in China.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that, in fact I believe that we lived and breathed aviation far more than those in the airline lifestyle. Still, when I told people my husband was a pilot, they’d immediately ask, “Oh yeah? Which airline?” or “You get free tickets, right?” or “How exciting for him to fly those big airplanes.” They always looked at me funny when I explained it wasn’t like that. It does seem that those outside the industry consider being an airline captain as the pinnacle of the pilot career, when in fact there are many roles and paths in aviation, all desirable depending on our individual goals and desires.

Flying for the airlines was never my husband’s dream. He knew it would be difficult for him to do so – a non-US citizen with a FAA license; a European without a JAA license. So we’ve done the best we could and had some amazing experiences. We’ve survived the post 9/11 downturn and the recent recession. All it comes down to is that he just wanted to fly and I have supported him nonstop in his dream – even moving to China to do so. I did this without hesitation, craving a bit of adventure of my own. At this point there’s no place I wouldn’t go, except for maybe Iraq or Afghanistan.

So even though we’ve persevered, the last year has been discouraging and daunting as we searched for an “upgrade” in jobs. My husband, with his 15 years of experience and 4000+ hours, just didn’t seem to have the right passport or the right type of hours or the right type rating, etc. We were fairly close to just throwing in the towel on our expat aviation career and applying for a green card to the US, where he might be able to find a regional first officer position.

Then it happened. Out of the blue. Which is why I’m here to say to all those wives out there in a position similar to mine – don’t give up! Hang in there! Last month a Chinese friend mentioned to his acquaintance, a pilot for a business aviation company, that he knew a foreign pilot with Chinese licenses who was looking for a new position. Within a few weeks my husband was offered a great job – a first officer on a business jet with the possibility of cross-training on the Airbus A318 Elite. He’ll be flying businessmen and wealthy clients across Asia.

I’m still not an “airline pilot’s wife,” but I might have to start dealing with some of the scheduling issues that concern so many of you. We’ll be relocating to Beijing. While that might sound challenging and/or scary, keep in mind we’ve been living the past 4 1/2 years in rural China, where it’s hard to even buy a cup of coffee. Beijing is like New York City to us! I couldn’t be more excited.

Contributed by Heather, a “regular” in the Pilot Wives Club. You can check out her blog at http://global-gal.com/ Thanks, Heather, for sharing your non-airline story and letting us know there IS another side to aviation!

The importance of wind…

I came across this quote while researching other quotes to include in a project I am working on…

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” ~ Henry Ford

Being married to a pilot, I felt it rather poignant since my life is steeped in aviation…

I feel the need to expand on this quote. So, here’s my take on it -

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Sometimes the wind changes directions and comes at you from the side and the ditch on the side of the runway is waiting to swallow you up. Even if you do get in the air, the wind will try to push you off course. It takes great skill and determination to overcome the crosswind and fly.

Taking the wind analogy a little further, we can say that sometimes the wind changes directions and comes at you from behind, seeming to travel with you, but throwing you off your rhythm. This sudden change can even flip you over if you are not prepared.

A day with no wind is a joy. You can accomplish the act of flight with little effort. You don’t get knocked around in turbulence. You can sit back and enjoy the ride.

On the other hand, there is the challenge that comes from flying on a windy day. When you meet the wind head on, the airplane jumps at the opportunity to get in the air. Trusting in your abilities, you will be surprised at how fast you climb! It may not be entirely comfortable, but you can take heart in knowing you accomplished something that most cannot or will not do. You flew!

As pilot wives, we handle our fair share of adversity. We learn to live independent lives when our pilots are away. We learn to incorporate our pilots back into our lives when they return. We raise our children mostly alone. We sometimes go through life’s events (births/deaths) alone. We cope with the loneliness and the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is not an easy life. But we take a page from the flight training guide that was shared with us by our pilots - point the nose into the wind and fly!

Aviation in Alaska - An Introduction

There is a running joke in my family that I won’t let my husband be a “Fire-Bomber” – thanks to the movie “Always” – but I will let him be an “Alaska Bush Pilot”… For some reason, that seems to make a lot of people laugh…

Alaska has such a large area, with the majority of it’s towns and villages inaccessible by roads. Before aviation was introduced, everyone got around by sled dog or boat, depending on where you lived. The aviation pioneers that started flying up here had their challenges. Most of them died doing what they loved. Some of them helped to innovate new ways of getting around the state. Aviation is such a necessity here. Most, if not all, of the villages have airports, or are in close proximity to an airport. Small but dependable air-taxi services dot the landscape, providing the necessary support to the villages. Their duties range from mail and freight delivery, taking passengers “in to town”, medivacs, and so on… It’s no wonder this is the area that my husband wanted to start his commercial career in.

My husband started flying for a Part-135 Airline in Juneau, Alaska. He was taught how to navigate “Southeast Alaska” by one on the best pilots in the state. When we needed to start accumulating “actual instrument time”, we moved out in the bush, to Iliamna, Alaska. There, he flew to more remote villages, to places where the town surrounded the airport. Where there were no tower services and the way to announce your presence is to buzz the town. We had our personal airplane with us in Iliamna, and it came in handy. We would fly to Anchorage to do our shopping every 2-3 months, and hit Costco, Wal-Mart and Safeway – the staples of remote living. Living out in the bush is not for everyone, and it wasn’t for me. We moved on to bigger and better things, taking us back to the “lower-48” and then out to Hawaii.

The “bigger and better” jobs were fun for my husband, at first. Then, he got bored, going to the same place, at the same time, along the same airway, every day. He missed the challenges of flying in Alaska; of getting to meet your passengers face to face and become their friend; of getting to do the occasional “back-country Canada charter”; of going to familiar territory, but different places every day. It was then that we decided to move back to Alaska.

We returned to Juneau. The airline my husband used to work for is no longer in operation, so he works for a company out of Bethel, on the other side of the state. He commutes for the first half of the month, and then gets to come home for the second. He is back to servicing a large area of small villages. We have found our little niche and we are not moving again (I hope). Where else in the world do you have such a reliance on aviation, such a stable corner of a vastly changing industry?

With the stability, there is a sense of concern. This is Alaska, where anything can and does happen. Systems that pilots use in the “lower-48″ are practically useless here. Due to the rugged terrain, radar only works at high altitude. Even with advances in satellite tracking and advances in Capstone (a terrain and aircraft avoidance system pioneered in Alaska), I worry when he doesn’t check in on time. In Bethel, he doesn’t have cell phone coverage, so I have to wait for him to get home to the pilot house to call me. I could do without the days where he waits until 9:00pm to check in…

Living and flying here has its challenges, but I don’t think I would trade it for anything.

Petitioning for a Day Off

My husband, like so many pilots, is a double pilot. Double pilot? What’s that you ask - you’ve never heard of that?!? Well, that’s because I’m making up my own pilot’s wife lingo.

We kindly interrupt this blog post for a Pilot’s Wife Lingo lesson . . . (que chessey gameshow music)

Double Pilot is a pilot who works two jobs. Example, My husband teaches flight instruction for the military and also flies commercially.

Ok, now that we’re on the same page . . . where was I? Oh yes, double pilot. My husband is a double pilot. What’s my point? I guess my point is that we NEVER have a day off. He’s my relief - so if he never has a day off, well, then neither do I.  When he’s not flying commercially, he’s flying for the military. His days off from his commercial job are spent serving our country teaching flight students how to fly helicopters. Which, I could say, is admirable. However, I am the wife behind the pilot who desperately needs a DAY off. While I am super blessed to have the opportunity to stay home and parent our three children, I also wear many, many, many hats. And my job . . . well, it almost NEVER involves sitting in a restuarant ALONE enjoying a nice quiet dinner. Heck, I’m lucky most days to get to have a sit down dinner. Three children under the age of five years old — now that’s a handful and half. And if I’m being honest, I rarely complain. I usually suck it up and go about my business, swirling in the mass chaos that IS my life, trying to get an unimaginable, impossible amount of tasks completed. But today, ladies . . . TODAY is my day when I just about snapped. Today is the day when I realized my human constraints. Today is the day that I realized I CAN’T do it all. And I’m mad. I’m “spit fire” mad. Because I don’t want help. I don’t want to ask anyone for help. I want to be able to “do it all”. I mean, isn’t that what were expected to do? I guess going from a working environment to being at home, I’ve just never adjusted to that scenario very well. And I do so much here, that the pilot, well . . . he’s come to expect a lot. Everytime I push myself and I do more, more becomes expected. Not only from him, but from others.

What’s the solution, you ask? Well, I’m doing some soul searching. I’m going to do some list building. And I’m going to start setting realistic goals for myself. Some things are going to fall by the way side and that’s just going to have to be the way it is for now. Unless someone has some sort of secret about cloning.

Tell me ladies, anyone else ever had this feeling? And if so, how did you organize the chaos?

Stay tuned for more of my infinite wisdom . . . I’m sure there is more to come.  Lucky you!

I live off of this stuff . . .

I thought I’d share this freebie with my readers . . .

This definitely gives a new meaning to “bring your child to work with you” day

“Child Directed Traffic at NY’s JFK Airport, Air Traffic Controller Suspended”  Foxnews.com

An air traffic controller at New York’s Kennedy Airport was suspended for allowing his young son to radio instructions to several pilots.  Read more . . .

A Pilot’s Wife take on “The Bachelor” Finale

Want to hear what an actual Pilot’s Wife thinks about the highly leaked, totally expected ending to this seasons “The Bachelor”?  Head over  here and Cute Culture Chick will give you the “low” down!

Sound off ladies . . . do you agree with her?  If not, what are your predictions for their future?

Let’s Get Our Priorities Straight . . .

The news articles are all over the internet and television reporting on The National Transportation Safety Board’s recommendation to use the “black box” voice recordings to monitor pilots and their conversations/activities in the cockpit.  The recommendation has been put forth due to recent pilot distractions that have led to airline mishaps (the Buffalo crash and the Northwest crew that flew 100 miles past their intended destination).  The National Transportation Safety Board is convinced that if the government monitors pilot conversation in the cockpit, our flights would be safer.  *** Pilot Wife rant begins** . . .

Really?  So the cause of the fatal Buffalo crash was due to the conversation taking place in the cockpit — not the fact that the pilots were paid less than $25,000/year, which in turn facilitated a need to work a second job, which in turn makes for an exhausted pilot who enters the cock pit, tired, underpaid and overworked.  No — let’s just say all conditions were perfect and the pilots were talking in the cockpit.  Seriously?  Is anyone else buying this theory?  I, by no means, am discounting the fact that people lost their lives.  No one . . hear me. . . NO ONE, including the pilots, want that to happen.  No pilot enters the cockpit and says, “I’m going to distract myself and fly this plane into the ground.”  Accidents happen . . . ACCIDENTS.  And I think it is unfair to put all of the blame on the pilots.

Pilots go through rigorous training.  My husband is subjected to at least two “check rides” a year to test his flight knowledge and provide additional training.  If a pilot fails these “check rides” the company provides additional training to the pilot.  If the pilot’s performance does not improve, the pilot can be fired.  Ask any pilot and they’ll tell you these check rides are taken very seriously. 

Pilots are required to have a physical performed by a physician once a year.  Pilots must have a medical certificate stating that they are fit to fly.  Medications are monitored by the physician.  Some pilots are afraid to take medications for fear that it may affect their medical certification.

Now . . . I’m a smart woman and I can see the need for change in the industry.  With that being said, let’s get our priorities straight.  Instead of concentrating on pilot conversation in the cockpit, why don’t we look at more pressing issues such as Pilot and Crew rest rules.  Let’s start asking the question of how much time in the cockpit in a twenty four hour period is too much?  Is a pilot flying several legs a day rested enough to make critical decisions?

And why don’t we take a look at pilot pay?  Airlines are constantly lowering the price of tickets –  But, at what cost to you, the passenger?  If pilots, who are clearly not living beyond their means, but have racked up nearly $50-$75,000 in student loans, have to take on a second  or even third job just to pay the bills - should we not consider that this could be a problem?  Take a look people . . . becoming a pilot is expensive. 

People put their lives in the hands of doctors every day.  Medical malpractice is rampant.  Cost of healthcare is through the roof.  What’s next?  Are we going to start putting voice recorders in the operating room?  How about on the public transportation buses?  They have accidents that can potentially take lives — will we install a voice recorder for them?  I know, it sounds ridiculous and people are going to tell me that it’s not a fair comparison . . . but really?  Why not?

So, what do you think?  Feel free to comment, but keep it respectful!  I’m willing to hear both sides of the coin . . . but again, keep it respectful! 

In the next few days, I’m going to begin a series addressing the real truth about being a pilot as told by his wife.  The truth about pilot pay.  The truth about the glamorous life that most people assume pilot’s live. 

Stay tuned . . . you won’t want to miss this!

Until next time, keep the wheels down and leave the flying up to him!

Being Alone Without Being Lonely . . .

As a pilot wife, many days are spent apart from the man I love. In the beginning of our relationship, the hardest thing for me to accept wasn’t the crazy schedule or the temptation or trust issues or the instability of the airline industry . . . it was being alone.

When I first met my husband, I was a successful career woman. I enjoyed working outside of the home. I worked out at the gym three times a week. I kept my schedule busy with after work activities with friends and co-workers. As some would say, “Life was good”.  ***Enter extremely handsome commercial airline pilot***  And my world . . . well, it just got all complicated. You see, the more time I spent around him, the more time I wanted with him. I think that naturally happens in any relationship whether you’re dating a pilot or not. However, here is the challenge with dating a pilot.  He’s home for one or two days and then gone for four, five or even six days. And then he might be home a few more days. But only to leave again for days or even weeks. And guess what . . . just when you think you’ve adjusted to that schedule, the new month rolls over and the schedule changes. To say having a relationship with him was challenging is a huge understatement. It’s hard to get accustomed to having someone there all of the time, only to have them up and leave for days or even weeks at a time. But after a year of dating, I married that man — unpredictable schedule and all. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. However, don’t think that just because we became husband and wife, all our issues were resolved. The nights are lonely and most times it’s “dinner for one”.  Throw a few children into the mix and you’re a single parent most of the time.

So, how do you keep from being lonely when you’re alone so much? Well, here are just a few of the ways I keep myself busy while the pilot is away:

1) The gym is your friend - Not only will you keep yourself fit, but you’ll keep your mind and emotions healthy too! Exercise is great for the mind and body. 

2) Read, read & read - Take advantage of the time alone to get into a good book and spend countless hours reading it. Many towns also have book clubs. It’s a great way to make new friends and read a good book at the same time.

3) Get plugged in at church - Many churches have tons of activities going on throughout the week. Connect with a group in your church, make friends and participate in activities.

4) Shop til you drop - now, I know my husband will not want this to be on the list, but take some time to shop - even if it’s just window shopping. Most men don’t want to accompany their wives to shop so take advantage of this alone time to get yourself a new wardrobe.

5) Train for a 5K - Running can be therpeutic. Take some time to release some of the work week’s stress by running out your frustrations.

6) Volunteer - this is one of my favorites. Remember, it’s not all about you! Take some time to volunteer at the local Salvation Army or any local charity. You’ll keep yourself busy and you’ll feel better helping someone else in need.

7)  Find a hobby - For me, blogging became a way for me to connect with other people when the pilot was away.  And for him, he was able to read what was going on at home while he was working.  It was a win/win solution for the both of us!

And . . . for my final way to keep from being lonely while the pilot is away . . .

Children- Ok, so I didn’t have children to end my loneliness. However, it totally worked! As a mother of three children under the age of five, I can say that I’m too tired to ever feel lonely!! *Be sure to consult your pilot before using this method as a cure for loneliness*

So ladies . . . sound off! How do you keep from being lonely when the pilot is away?  I’d love to add some new activities to the list!

Until next time, keep the wheels down and leave the flying to him!

The ABC’s of Being a Pilot’s Wife

As we have shared many times before, being a pilot’s wife can be challenging, to say the least. However, our pilot wives have compiled the ABC’s of being a Pilot’s Wife. Remember, this is all in good fun and at the end of the day, we love and support each and every one of our pilots.

A - Adapatable - a pilot’s wife’s life is never stable. Pilot schedules are given on a monthly basis, furloughs happen and situations/issues are always coming up. A good pilot wife must always be able to adapt to these situations all while exhibiting the utmost grace and style.

B - Budget-conscious - He probably is paying back student loans, which will put a damper on the family budget.  He won’t be home to pay the bills, so you’ll have to make sure that everything is paid on time.  He’ll live on pretzels and peanuts, but somehow find it necessary to splurge on the latest and greatest cellphone.

C - Calm- Situations will arise that you have no control over. Plans may change at a moment’s notice. Things may happen at home you have to deal with and make do by yourself. It is important to remain calm, cool and collected (look there’s three C’s!). Don’t freak out over the small stuff.

D - Devoted - Crazy schedules, terrible pay, long hours, nights alone — only a wife that is truly devoted to her husband could put up with these conditions.

E - Envy - sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean in Hawaii is something ANYONE would be envious of. That is a perk of flying!

F - Flexible - What? You won’t be home for Christmas? You got JA’d an hour before my surgery? You have to go for a week of training when? Where? Your crew base is moving to WHERE? When are we moving? When are we moving again? Can you call in sick for my due date? What if I am a week overdue? Honey, my water just broke, where are you?

G - Grateful - Grateful he finally came home and sometimes grateful he finally leaving again.

H - Humbled - As incredibly difficult it can be to be a pilots wife for all the reasons you all have stated - I always try to remember, my children and I have always had a roof over our head (although sometimes barely); we have food everyday (although there were times that barely happened too); and every night we have always had a bed and warm place to sleep at night and my husband is doing the job he loves. Okay….when we get to “S” sign me up for stressed!

I - Independent - You mean, I live half of my life alone? I got married but you are gone 50% of the time?!!! Guess I’ll have to entertain myself while you are away.

J - Jealous - He gets to actually take a shower and eat dinner by himself!!!

K - Kissable - Always be the one he wants to come home to… The one he can’t wait to kiss when he gets home…

L - Long Distance - You’re going to be gone how long? Having no idea when you’ll be able to work a rendezvous between your schedules, missing him the whole time.

M - Money - or the lack of - Ladies let’s tell the world the REAL truth - contrary to popular belief, pilots are not “rolling in the dough”.

N - Numbers - The amount of numbers these guys retain is amazing! From runways, heading and altitudes, to tail number and go times. How about converting temperatures from C to F? Or remembering the seat number of a famous celebrity on their flight. These guys can sure hold their numbers.

O - Online - Communication is the key word in any relationship, but even more when you are married to a pilot! When he is away communicating with him by email, phone, fax or pigeon - it is a must!

P - Patience - We need an endless supply to deal with the flight delays/cancellations/schedule problems/vacation issues/etc… Not to mention his “extra-curricular activities” that sometimes take him even further away from family time (like RC planes/helicopters, personal aircraft, computers, etc)… I know I am constantly praying for more patience…

Q - Quick - Flight delays, weather delays, it seems like pilots are always hurrying and scurrying. Schedules are so unpredictable, that you may or may not get a sizable amount of time with your man. Only 36 hours till he leaves again? Better get in all the fix-it stuff at home, visit all the extended family, and try to fit in some alone time.

R - Reserve - Being a new First Officer or even a new Captain, being on reserve or “On call” is totally normal. Getting a line is really something to celebrate!

S - Strong - enough said right? We deal with a lot of up and downs, happiness and craziness. However, it’s not just about us; it’s also about our husbands. We must be strong for them and make sure they’re aware that we are with them on this wild airplane ride through life. Being there and being strong for each other is a must.

T - Trust - There is no way a pilot’s wife can survive without trust — seriously, you’d run yourself crazy. The job of a pilot keeps him away from his wife and in questionable situations quite often. However, the best pilot wife must trust her pilot — there is no other choice. Trust him and the vows that you both made to each other - those will hold you together while you are apart.

U - Uniform - They do look sexy, don’t they?

V - Valuable - So many things in this industry is valuable. The limited valuable time spent together as a family. The valuable training. The valuable lessons learned from each mishap.

W - Worry - All the time! Every time there’s news on tv of a crash, bankruptcy, change in the business, etc. Worrying about whether he’ll make it home on time for something important. Worrying about how to parent all by yourself. Worrying about everything!

X - Xeric - If you get transferred to PHX (I hope)?? Hey, don’t judge! You try to find a word that relates and starts with an X . . .

Y - Yo-yo - Like a yo-yo our pilots are always going out and back from hub to outstation to hub.

Z - Zulu - As pilot wives we MUST know what this refers to… Sometimes, my husband and I refer to zulu time more than local time. Maybe that’s why pilot watches have so many time settings… at least one of them will be zulu!

So, there you have it . . . compiled by the best pilot wives in the world! Got any new ones to add, feel free to leave them in the comments.

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